Monday, December 6, 2010

"I've tried to let go, I really have..."

     “The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”…Psalms 34:18.  Okay, so if you’re feeling discouraged and know you need a good Scripture pick-me-up, READ PSALMS 34.  Dear goodness, it’s a wonderful chapter.  (That wasn’t how I intended to start this, but I just had to mention that…)
Humility.  It’s an art, I’m quite certain.  In this world, it’s all about me, me, me; we think we’re entitled to drive a car, we think everyone should think like we do, and heaven forbid that we be forced to stand in line for more than 4.32 minutes.  On Sundays, we stride into church, sit in our lovely pews, then tap our watches, like, “Hey, umm…God?  You have about 20 minutes to show up, ‘cause…I’m starving.”
I have a newsflash though, honey.  Psalm 37:7 says, “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.”  Or how about Psalm 27:14? “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!”  Psalm 46:10—“Be still, and know that I am God…” (I’m getting the feeling that David must’ve done a lot of waiting on the Lord in his life…and he had plenty of time to do it too!  He probably didn’t have much to do whilst tending sheep.  Anyway.)
But oh man, does this next one hit me!  It grabs my heart and squeezes just hard enough to hurt, just gently enough to leave me awe-struck:
Isaiah 25:8-10—“He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces; the rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; for the Lord has spoken.  And it will be said in that day: Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, and He will save us.  This is the Lord; we have waited for Him; we will be glad and rejoice in His salvation.  For on this mountain the hand of the Lord will rest…”
But…what if we didn’t wait?  Would death still be swallowed up forever?  Would all our tears be wiped away?  Would God’s hand still rest on the mountain He helped us climb?  People!  I am sorry, but where is our fear of God?
Look what we could miss if we stayed so focused on ourselves; doesn’t just the thought of that make your stomach hit your feet?  Thinking about the gifts we’d never gaze upon, the people we’d never meet, gives me that feeling you get when you just know the main guy in the movie is gonna end up dead.
I look around and see all this…brokenness.  People, beautiful, human people, my own age, fight through this life, desperately hoping they aren’t just another nameless face.  Am I so proud that I can’t even take a moment to notice them?  What reason have I to whiz right by, pretending to not care?  I may not have met these people, but God has.  And honestly, I’d rather be ten minutes late to my oboe lesson if it means seeing one certain person in heaven someday.  In someone’s moment of need, they should be way more important than myself.  (By the way, I don’t play oboe.)
Don’t get me wrong, though; there’s a time and place for everything.  (See Ecclesiastes; though I wouldn’t read the book unless you’re feeling pretty optimistic!)  There is a time to grab your closest friend and cry your heart out until there’s nothing left.  There’s a time to say, “Hey, I’m really, really not okay.”  And there’s a time to tell the world that you are the happiest person alive, too!  See, all in good timing.
I guess what I’m trying to say is…letting go of your own desires and will is so hard to do; in fact, it’s impossible.  Unless you have God to take the reigns from your limp hands when you can’t even let go.  But guess what?  He’s there.  Look up.  Surrender.  Don’t look back.  He’s got everything under control.  You’ll be eternally glad you let go.

All Scripture from the New King James Version.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

ah I just love you Jess!!

Jesseca said...

Thank you!!!! I love you too!