Odds and Ends and Lions.

It's usually at night when I think of the most productive things to do, when my eyelids would rather be shut but my brain would rather be flying from Denver to New York and back again.  What kinds of things?  Oh, you know, balancing my checkbook, watching cooking videos (it's pretty crazy how much I love watching those), racking my brain about where else I should apply for a job, seeing as I need a lot more money than I'm earning right now, reading a bunch of other people's blogs, looking at news videos..... Thinking about where I can go shopping to get the best deals, wondering where the heck I should look for scholarships but knowing I have a list of websites I should check out, thinking about how I have so much to learn and I don't know how I'm going to learn it all, and realizing that the majority of my money has been spent at Starbucks and/or other food/coffee places as of late. Et cetera, et cetera.
     Oh yeah, and writing my own blog, too.  Which is (if you didn't notice) what I'm currently doing, and it's 11:35 PM exactly.  But you know what I should be doing?  Praying.  Reading my Bible and other good books. Practicing the instruments I'm blessed to have.  Buckling down and committing to the scholarship search because I really, really want to go to college in......five.......months.  Sleeping.  Writing letters to congressmen about my stance on political issues.  You know, changing the world and all that jazz.  But I feel like I'm waiting for something, and I don't know what it is.
     Did you ever use Mavis Beacon's typing CD-ROM so you could learn how to type?  Sean (brother) and I did.  Annnnd we hated it.  But hey, we both type faster than you could say "Jack Robinson" now so I guess it worked.
     That was random.  Well, to you it was.  I said it, though, because I was watching my fingers fly and was wondering how they knew where to go, even when I wasn't consciously thinking about what order they should go in; it's pretty cool!  (I could turn this into a lesson about how God leads us even when we aren't paying attention, and how we sometimes unknowingly walk right into His plan for our lives, all while thinking we were avoiding it.  But I think I'll leave that for you to ponder!)
     Anyways, back to the subject at hand.
     Today a tragedy rudely waltzed its way into the lives of thousands of human beings.  I have no clue how many of them went to heaven or how many went to hell.  I have no clue how it felt to see debris vaulting through the air while dozens of terrified screams sliced through your eardrums and your heart pounded its way right up into your throat until it seemed like it would suffocate you.  While those precious  individuals were experiencing a nightmare Hollywood never could've concocted, I was tossing and turning in my bed, trying to get to sleep because the caffeine from my chocolate cake was keeping me up.
     Wow.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  How could I be concerned with such small things while thousands of lives are being shredded to pieces?  Perhaps that's not for me to decide.
     I feel blessed, for sure, that there is still breath filling my lungs.  Reverent before a God who is the ultimate Mystery.  Feeling safe in His all-knowing hands, yet wide-eyed at the realization that my life is only a little puff of smoke in the grand scheme of things.
     It's like that quote from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: "He's not a tame lion!...'Course He isn't safe.  But He's good.  He's the king, I tell you."
     That pretty much sums it up.  He truly is worthy of all our devotion, all our attention, all the affection we have in these feeble lives we live.  If it was worth His sacrifice for us, it's worth our sacrifice for Him.