Thursday, December 30, 2010

And we fall apart...

The best-laid plans of mice and men really do often go awry.

Have you ever noticed how everything we do is in an effort to improve it or to keep it from falling apart?  I mean, think about it: you brush your teeth several times a day so that your teeth stay healthy and free of cavities.  You work out at the gym so your body doesn’t become weak and worthless.  You go to work so you can have money to keep yourself provided for.  We put countless hours of effort into trying to maintain some level of stability in our lives and world.
Yet in a single blink of an eye, it can all fall apart.
Everything is hanging in a delicate balance, just waiting for the opportunity to break.
The first time I thought about this was when I saw a video of a bridge that was washed down a river within a matter of minutes.  How much time and money had gone into making that bridge?  How long had it endured the weathering of continual use day after day?  Whatever the answer, nature apparently didn’t give a whoop.
What I’m referring to is the second law of thermodynamics.  A good way to explain it is that nature is irreversible.  (Thank you Wikipedia!)  There is no rewind button on life, no way to undo time.  Of course, that is obvious; but think about how life would be if we could go back and perfect all of it!  We could rectify mistakes, avoid tragic events, embrace those special moments longer…just undo and redo everything until it’s all picture-perfect.
But how, if we lived a life of always redoing things, could that be called life?  How could we need a Savior if we could save ourselves?
I know I’m asking a lot of semi-rhetorical questions, but they’re questions my heart keeps asking me, and I suppose I’m hoping to answer them by asking you.
Do you ever feel like crying for no reason?  Or actually, it’s not for no reason; it’s for a reason you don’t know and can’t seem to figure out.
Yep, that’s me.
But don’t worry, I’ll be fine.  I can handle a tear or two.
Growing up is a hard thing to do.  Looks easy, hurts like CRAZY.  It’s like the difference between learning how to train for a marathon, and actually getting up at every morning to run until you feel like there are a thousand and one needles thrust into your body.  (No, I’ve never tried…but maybe I should…)
Okay, it’s time to bring this back to my original point.
My point is actually a question.  Or two.
How much effort and work is really worth it?  If it’s all going to be stripped away from us in the end, why bother keeping it in good condition until then?
Why spend hours on the house of cards when you know perfectly well that a simple little breeze can wreck it in an instant?
Dear goodness, enough with the questions!!!
I think I really need to pray about this.  Colossians 3 does talk about putting your heart and soul into every single thing you do, and God gave us gifts and talents that we’re supposed to use for His glory.  How that totally plays into what I’m wondering about isn’t so clear in my mind yet.
But one thing I know for sure is this: We were put on this earth to praise and honor God.  There is absolutely nothing else worth living for.  Maybe I’ll never understand His plans or timing, and maybe I’ll just have to trust Him for my next breath for the rest of my life…but it’s all worth it if I one day hear “well done, good and faithful servant”.
I want to be everything God sees me to be.  Nothing withholding, nothing less than my best.  Why live half-heartedly when I could give it all I’ve got?
                          

4 comments:

I'm Sydney. said...

I'm going to be perfectly honest and say this post broke my heart. In a way that's both soothing and painful {as if the breaking of a heart can be a painless experience} and I just wanted to cry because you're right. And maybe one of the reasons this made me want to cry is because I saw my face reflected in many of those questions and wanted to break the mirror.

aigirln said...

What Syd said. Seriously.

Nicole H. said...

I agree and I also want to say I did cry. Jesseca why is it when I read your blog I cry!? I completely know what you ment and everything hit home with me. I need to start putting my whole self into everything. I can not just expect something to happen so not do anything or take a relaxed look to everything. Jesseca I love you! Keep making me cry because when I read your blog and cry its good tears if that is understandable at all.

Sonia Ama said...

Ahhh I love this post. Can't even find better words to describe it.