life

It's funny; I've never watched Titanic before.  According to two of my coworkers, I haven't yet fully known the epitome of female emotion.

Um, ok.

Until today...because I watched [the first half of] it today!  I'll finish it tomorrow when I'm ready to emotionally embrace the ending...tear.

What an incredible story.  It makes me think about something called life.  Life: our existence.  We don't know anything else.  We've seen death, felt death, tasted death, but truly no one who is alive has known anything different.  Life...what a precious, fragile thing.

Compare the Rose of old to the younger version of herself.  Young Rose is vibrant, fully clear-minded, able-bodied.  Her concerns are small; she knows little of what the world truly holds.  Her beauty is flawless, untainted by the years that would ultimately carve themselves into her face.

Fast-forward to the centenarian whose memory is wearing thin.  Frolicking around the deck of a ship is no longer a fact of life.  She doesn't lower her lashes at the mystery of a caring young man, for he isn't a mystery anymore.  Her bones carry weathered skin from years past, and truly she is a wealth of matchless worth, yet the current generation casts her aside like a forgotten toy.

One day my beauty will fade.  Today, I feel the eyes of men assessing what they see.  Today, I look expectantly to the future, having not a clue what it truly holds.  Today, I have hope that my life will be a story worth telling when I'm old and gone.

But one day, when I'm old and still here, my outward beauty probably won't be a drawing card for people.  And that's okay, it's not what matters anyway.  But I don't want people to look at me as a 'once-upon-a-time'.  I want to be someone who cares, someone who's still in touch with the world and the current generation, someone who can love them and speak wisdom into their lives.  I want to get closer to God with each breath and one day breathe in and be with Him.

My 100th birthday will be here before you know it, and I want to live all those years in between exactly how God wants me to.

you've probably thought about this too

via

I begin writing so many posts that I never actually publish.  For some reason, I often feel as though my words will just seep through the cracks of this hugely extensive social networking world, forever to go unnoticed by anyone.  So why bother fitting my thoughts into a coherent and publish-able work of art?

But I've been finding that it's the little things people say that you actually remember.  People won't let you see who they really are, not if they can help it.  The last thing they want to do is stride out to center stage, into the spotlight where nothing is hidden, and whip their cape back so the world can scrutinize their every last flaw.

It's the small unguarded comments, the raising of the eyebrows, the "humphs" that come from their throats, that whispers this is me.  Without those simple moments, we might all look the same with our safety masks on, not one of us differing from the next.

So this is a "humph".  It's not much.  But in 10 seconds I will click publish and maybe, someone will hear it.

7 billion is a lot of people

Did you know that as of August 7, 2012, the world population was calculated at 7,031,379,406 people?

I would like to point out that your average Starbucks has a fire code limit of maaaybe 50 people. 75 at most.

Ever thought about how many people you pass on the road?  Then multiply that by the rest of your city.  And the rest of your state.  And country.  And continent.  Then add that to the other 6 continents.

When it all comes down to it...

There is an unfathomable number of human souls gracing  the face of this earth.

I can't even grasp it.

Then to make your head spin a little more, God has a purpose for every. single. one. of those people.  Not one of those 7 billion have "no purpose".  (Not to mention the trillions of people before and after us.)

They're all here for a reason.

The lady in pink at McDonald's who had no hair and the man who called her white trash.

The two old men at the doctor, one with a walker and one with retardation.

The girl at work waiting for her baby to come.

The waiter who gave us chips and soda for free.

The teens on the lightrail posing for photos and swearing like sailors.

God specifically created all of those people for a purpose, just like an artist paints a picture.  What made him paint that picture?  It was on his mind.  He was captured by the beauty of the scene, the story it told.  I think God's "painting hour" is his favorite hour of the day.  I think he gets all of his other chores done as fast as possible just so he can sit down and put all of his heart and joy into his paintings...us.

You are a wonderful painting, friend.  You stand out in the art gallery.  You bring tears to the eyes of viewers simply by the complexity of the story you tell... Thank you for being you.

in search of eden

"You can't go back to the garden," Miranda said.  "It's never going to be perfect here again.  And if you waste all your energy trying to make believe or to look for the perfect place or the perfect person or the perfect life, you'll miss the good while looking for the perfect."
-In Search of Eden, by Linda Nichols

a poem

As I always saw it, there are no rules in poetry.  Perhaps I'm wrong, but it sure never made sense to me.  It's like a puzzle with half the pieces missing.  But whether there's rules to poetry or not, there is no mistaking the utter boredom that plagued me to read Robert Frost in high school.

However, once in every other rare blue moon, I'll have inspiration to write a poem. *gasp*

This post inspired me and what follows is my creativity dump for the weekend.  Enjoy putting the puzzle together.

perfect love pushes fear

from all we hold dear

though nothing gives to be afraid

fear keeps dropping tears

being all alone in this

was not, no, what’d i miss

let’s take the i out of the me

one man can’t himself kiss

who could know the depths of love

than thinking like a dove

no one understands the pain

of leaving life above

fill me up with something more

than empty, senseless shore

giving isn’t easy

if void makes up the core

one more makes five

even dead, odd alive

meaning beyond imagery

of things set to arrive

the little twig

I sat in the grass, no lights except the stars, the trees making a cozy, roofless cocoon.  In front of me was a stick, no longer than my hand, which I proceeded to break off into little pieces.  I felt so safe, close to God.  My stick was getting shorter and shorter, so on a whim I raised one of the teeny bits of tree to my lips, kissed it, and said, "Catch it, God!"

When I threw the piece of wood to the sky, I felt like He did just that: caught it.  So I did it again.  It was so wonderful...I had never kissed God before.

There was one last little twig in my hand.  I kissed that one too, but this time, I held it close.

"I don't want to let You go."

He said, "I don't want to let you go, either...and I never will." (Hebrews 13:5)

DIY jewelry board

DIY, say whaaa?!  But, my friends, I present to you my newest brain-child that I literally just finished.  I'm pretty excited, if you can't tell.  And if one of you pins this on pinterest, I might just scream for joy. (Disclaimer...all photos taken with my phone...)

Gather: Black acrylic paint ($0.59 at Michaels!)
Double-sided tape
Scissors
Sponge/paintbrush
Wrapping paper
Mod-Podge (optional)
Also: Ruler to cut your paper

...and a bulletin board. 

Step 1: Paint the edges of your cork board.  Repeat coats until fully covered.
(Acrylic paint dries super fast!)

...and about 1/2-1 inch into the cork to make it more seamless.
Apply mod podge, if desired, to make it shiny.

Step 2: Take random pictures of the summer evening behind you.

Step 3: (sorry, no pictures) Measure and trim a sheet of wrapping paper to fit snugly
in your board; apply double-sided tape to corners and edges of cork,
then carefully press the paper to the tape.

Step 4: (boy, I stink at taking accurate step pics) Push thumb-tacks into the pattern,
however many you'd like, to make little hooks for your jewelry.

Done! Hang your creation and add jewelry to your delight.