Hi I'm Jesseca. I'm new round these here parts.

Goodness gracious, I feel like it's been forever since I posted!

Maybe that's because it has been...

This summer went by at breakneck speed, I'd say.  Work and summer camp and more work and a concussion and work and ummm what else went on this summer?

But besides all that, I've grown closer to my Maker this summer.  I've seen His love pursue me when all I could  do was squinch my eyes and try to breathe.  I've felt His hand directing me through difficult decisions and apprehensions.  And you know what?  I'm closer to Him because of it.

I've been reading an amazing book called "God's Smuggler" by Brother Andrew.  (Read it.  Did I mention it's amazing?)  One of the things that's grabbed my attention about this book is the level of trust Brother Andrew has in God.  His faith is so solid in Him that he will go ahead and do what God's called him to do, whether or not he has the money or means to do so.  And guess what?  The money or people or means always come at the most perfectly unsuspecting moments.

I want to be like Brother Andrew.  I want to trust God enough to jump off the ledge and know He'll jump with me.  I want to learn through every experience and enjoy His presence every step of the way.

And on a different note...

I know it's about a month too early for these...but...

Don't these just make you take a deep reminiscing breath?  I think of potpourri...apple cider...chili...costumes...soccer...boots and sweaters...longer nights...yeah, the list could go on and on.  Oh, and I also (for some reason) think of the first Molly book from the American Girl series.

I'm so excited for fall.

Thought I'd pop in...

I'm so sorry it's been so long!  Internet shut-downs aren't fun.  But soon soon soon I will get back with y'all.  Promise.

That was kind of crazy.

Can you believe that I didn't post for almost a month?!  A lot can happen in a month, and a lot did.

First of all, the internet at my housey is down.  So there has been quite a bit of borrowing my dad and brother's smartphones for email-checking and general staying in touch with the world at large.

Second, I was in bed all week last week.  Concussions, infections, viruses and canker sores don't make a fun, pretty, or painless combination.  But it sure gave God a chance to speak to me more than He has in a long time.  Or more acurately, it gave me a chance to listen to Him more than I have in a long time.

Thirdly, I hate posting without having pictures, like fashion pictures or whatnot, to go along with it!  I personally like reading blogs that are simply bursting with lovely pictures of the blogger because I feel like I get to know them better.  And then I feel like my writing is boring without being spiced up with a picture or two.

But then I got to thinking...you know, it's not about me.  My life is not my own--it's God's.  And since it's His, my opinions and desires should be secondary to His.

So from now on, I'm going to try posting pictures of other people, people I meet or see, or maybe just people I find on the internet.  Along with their pictures, I'll comment on their beauty, no matter who they are.

Maybe that came out of the blue, but something else that God's been teaching me is how beautiful every single person is.  We get caught up on a stereotype, and yet without our differences, we would not be beautiful.  I try to see something beautiful in everyone I meet now.  Maybe it's their sparkling eyes, their ever-present smile.  Maybe it's their laugh or the deep laughter creases set in their face.  Perhaps it's the strength of their hands or the way they hold their head high.

Everyone is just so perfect the way they are.

P.S. You should read God's Smuggler.  Good book.

P.P.S.  If you want to see some of those lovely pictures I was telling you about, do pay these ladies a visit:
Sydney at The Daybook
Ramsey of Love, Ramsey
Sam from Young People in Love

the urban outfitters guy cracked me up

Me to the guy at Urban Outfitters: "Do you know if you guys have any searsucker pants?"  (I've been wanting a baby blue pair ever since I saw someone else rocking them.)
UO guy: "What kind of pants?" (Dude, you work at Urban Outfitters and you've never. heard. of searsucker.)
Me: "You know, it's like stripe..."
Random other customer UO guy was previously assisting: "Oh, it's like puckered and striped?  Yeah... [ironically apologetic look on her face] ...those aren't in style right now."  Begins walking away with UO guy.  "You miiight be able to find some at Anthropologie...but they're a little [shoves her thumb in the air]. You know."

Yes.  Thank you.  Thank you for making those several moments of my life very, very awkward.  Love you too.

On the brighter side, I found an awkward romper at F21 that I turned into an adorable dress.  To prove how awkward it was pre-makeover, I paid $3.99 as opposed to $24.99.  It was that bad.

I also got a cotton maxi dress from there that was SO CUTE I COULD'T RESIST.  I did pay $24.99 for that... that's how cute it was.

And since I have a fabulous mommy who bequeathed to me a $10 Kohl's Cash certificate, I done bought myself a flouncy white knit top that has a camera lens on it with the statue of liberty in the middle.  Sounds weird, looks amazing.

Just had to share.  I will hopefully get pictures up soon.  Cross your fingers.

P.S. Facebook is overrated.

P.P.S.   3 places I really really reallyreallyreally want to go...

New York City, NY

London, England

Paris, France

And while you're at it, throw in Germany, Italy, Greece, Spain, Ireland, Scotland, Netherlands, Finland (basically just Europe in general) and  I'll be even happier.

I better stop this post before it gets any randomer.

music is what feelings sound like

I play the piano.  I've written some songs in the past.  And it is one of the most satisfying, therapeutic, fulfilling things to do, knowing you expressed in words and music the unspeakable feelings trapped within you.

I have been trying so hard to write another song lately.  I want so badly to articulate what's inside me right now, but I just can't seem to find the right string to pull.  I'll start a song, get a few lame lyrics, and then just give up because nothing is grabbing my attention.

Maybe I'm overthinking it.  I listen to amazing songs on the radio and wonder how in the world someone can pen something so utterly beautiful, especially the ones that are different, that don't fit a mold.  So I set out to write a song that isn't normal, one that will express the inexpressible both for me and for anyone who would ever care to listen.

Like I said, phshtoinwddkjldsoisebhgn.  That's what happens.  And then I lay my head on the keys and ask God if He could please write a song through me because I know it's in there, I just haven't found the secret code yet.

I'm not quite sure what I'm missing yet.  But I do know that when God and I meet, maybe in a lovely sunlit chapel in the Swiss Alps or something, the perfect song that's been in me all this time will finally come pouring out in gentle waves because He alone will be the one I'm singing it for.

Waterproof mascara, you have met your match.

So I got this new waterproof mascara.  It was recommended in Bride's magazine and I figured if it was worthy of a wedding, it'd be worthy of everyday wear.

I was right.  And wrong.

My first impression of CoverGirl Lashblast Volume in Very Black was that it didn't layer as well as my beloved Maybelline.  My second impression is that it didn't flake or run during the day.  My third impression was that it really is waterproof.

I splash my face with water.  The mascara's still there.
Continue washing my face with cleanser.  Only the eyeliner has succumbed to running.
Massage mineral oil on my face and eyes (commonly known as a makeup remover).  Oh hey!  There's a little bit of watery black under my peepers now.
Out comes the Neutrogena oil-free makeup remover that I love so much.  The mascara is still. there.  Even though the cotton pad I'm using is already quite black from only one eye, there is obviously a thick layer of black goop still clinging to my lashes.
Super.

But seeing as it was already after midnight and I was plumb tuckered out from a lovely 4th of July, I wearily slathered on some moisturizer and went to bed.

In conclusion, my friends, there really is an invincible, waterproof, smudgeproof, budgeproof, life-proof, remover-proof mascara out there.  I should know.

Independence Day

Can you imagine what it was like to be our forefathers on July 4, 1776?

One day, their every move was being scrutinized and taxed, the next they were entirely free from all that.

What was it like to wake up on a sunny morning from then on?  Did they take in a deep breath through a smile, remembering that they were now living on free soil, no strings attached to England?  Have parties a little more often, just so they could revel in their new-found freedom?  Feel a little closer to their heavenly Father, knowing it was He who brought them this far?

Perhaps the freedom they felt in the days following that 1776 Independence Day was akin to the breathless excitement we feel on the day we let Jesus invade our hearts.  He cuts all the strings of our past, saturates our lives in hope, and gives us a joy and peace that doesn't even make sense.

And The 4th of July has evolved into a holiday of flippin' burgers, watching fireworks, eating cake, and giving the supermarkets a spike in their profits for the weekend.  Which, I suppose, are all benefits of living in a free country, but I do hope every single American realizes the battles that have been fought so that they can grill hot dogs.

And speaking of which, do go grill some hot dogs!  Enjoy the day with your family and embrace your freedom...and eat some ice cream.  I intend to.

Love,

Jesseca